An Advanced Solution to Managing Your Fears

The first time you meet someone it can be scary.

What if she doesn’t like me?
What if I don’t know what to say?
What if he is smarter/funnier/richer than me?

Become friends with that person for the next 5 years and the fear goes away completely. You’ve shared your history, stories, emotions, and dreams with this person and they still keep coming back. You are confident in their friendship and no longer worry about being accepted. What was so overwhelming the first time is merely second nature after a short period of time.

Fear is best managed by frequency of exposure. What scares the hell out of you today will scare you far less in a month if you expose yourself to it a little bit every day. This is a powerful lesson to learn because it gives you a reliable method of minimizing and managing your fears in a realistic way.

This is a plan that works whether your fear is physical or emotional, so let’s examine how it’s done.

Managing Your Fears By Increasing Exposure

I’ve always been afraid of falling from any heights. Those heights can be as short as a stepladder or as a high as a trail on the side of a mountain. Bridges are the worst for me, on foot, on a bike, in a car, or on a train. What makes it worse is that I have a tendency to be clumsy. I can easily imagine myself falling over cliffs, railings, and ledges that are easy for other people to walk.

In 2010 my husband Warren and I decided to sell everything we owned and travel the world. Yes, that’s scary. But it was nothing in comparison to scaling some of the high peaks and rickety bridges over fast-running water we encountered on our journeys. We quickly became the outdoorsy type because we were surrounded by so much beauty, but in order to enjoy it to the fullest I had to face my fear of heights (or, more accurately, falling from those heights).

But I noticed something interesting when I got out on the trail. The first scary moment might make me motionless for five minutes as I build my courage to move through it. The next few might give me pause for a couple of minutes. After a while, I see the scary moment up ahead and start mentally preparing myself so I can push through before it gets to me. By the end of the hike, I might even feel comfortable enough to stop mid-way on a bridge to take in the scenery without freaking out.

It’s the exposure that does it, and if I hiked every single day I have no doubt it would reduce my fear of falling to almost nothing. I notice a distinct reduction in my fear of falling when we are doing regular hikes in the mountains (like in South America) than when we’re spending most of our time on flat land (hello, Amsterdam).

Like anything, you have to use it or you’ll lose it. But like riding a bike, you can easily get back on once you’ve fallen off.

How to Expose Yourself

The great thing about these little lessons in fear busting is they build on each other. I know I can soothe myself enough to manage my fear of heights over time. Because of this, when I face another fearful experience, I can remind myself of my success with heights and develop a similar plan of repeat exposure until the fear is manageable. You can do the same thing.

You may not be scared of heights or climbing mountains, but you likely do have everyday fears that get in the way of living the life you want. Here are some easy ways that are very effective when it comes to exposing and managing your fears:

• Fear of what people will think: Eat in a restaurant by yourself once a week
• Fear of approaching people: Ask one random stranger per day for directions (even if you don’t need them)
• Fear of speaking up: State your opinion/idea at least once during every meeting at work
• Fear of being a leader: Suggest and organize a group outing with other people every month
• Fear of small talk: Strike up a brief conversation with the person in front of or behind you every time you stand in line

When you become more accustomed to standing out, speaking up, approaching other people, coordinating and leading, you will find the other fearful areas in your life a little more manageable. The fear never goes away (or if it does it is quickly replaced by something new), but just like regular exercise, you can train your mind to be stronger and healthier with regular mental exercise. This is an ultimate solution to managing your fears!

Betsy Talbot and her husband Warren help people turn their life dreams into reality. After 20 years of playing by the rules, they charted their own path to achieve their dream of traveling the world. Their books include Dream Save Do: An Action Plan for Dreamers. Visit www.marriedwithluggage.com for more information.

Are You in Denial of Your Potential? 5 Steps to Become the Person You Are Meant to Be

How many times have you come across someone who doesn’t believe in themselves or can’t see how much potential they have?

We can all be in denial of our potential in some ways. We all have fears, insecurities and doubts-that can hold us back from becoming who we can be.

There are many reasons we can be in denial of our potential. A particular event or circumstance in our lives might have damaged our self-esteem, we may have been told lies by consistently been told we are not good enough, we may have failed and something and lost the confidence to try again, we may have done something we regret and now don’t believe we deserve to reach our potential… just to name a few.

Denial is generally accepted as a form of unconscious protection, a refusal to accept or believe. If we don’t accept or believe we have amazing potential-(which in fact we all do)- then we can’t feel bad if we don’t live up to it and don’t have to be afraid that we might find out all our worst fears and doubts are true about ourselves if we try to reach it. It can sometimes be easier to stay in denial and trust in our fears and doubts rather than in our potential.

Often the most inspiring people, or movies that touch us the most are those that have a story of overcoming an adversity, a self-doubt, a denial about themselves and through that realise their potential, rise to the occasion; their talents and abilities come alive and they realise the person they are and destined to be.

I have been on a recent journey of learning to believe in who I am more. I was in denial of who I really am and can be. I worried about my worth as a person. I have been plagued by fears, paralysing doubts, insecurities and anxiety as I’m sure others have from time to time. But these things were stealing me away from who I could be. I have learned the most difficult thing is to overcome ultimately is how you think of yourself.

Here are 5 Steps that Helped me to Break Denial of My Potential.

 Step #1 to Break Denial of Your Potential: Remove the Blocks

When we put a denial in place there are usually a lot of blocks behind it keeping it there. Understanding yourself more and what you are afraid of is key. Sometimes our blocks are so great and so many, piled up in front of us we can’t see anymore what we are capable of being.

 Step #2 to Break Denial of Your Potential: Answer why should I?

Why should you try and reach your potential anyway? This quote by Maya Angelou, “A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.” expresses so simply that everyone has a song and it’s not because we should but because we have a song that we should sing.

We are all born with many great gifts, no matter where we are or what walk of life we have come from. Fully developing and expressing these gifts in the world can be a fulfilment of who we are. It’s a shame for denial to get in the way of that!

 Step #3 to Break Denial of Your Potential: Shift focus

Most of the time we tend to focus on our limitations or frailties. Often they can become in our mind much bigger than are. As part of denying we have any potential we can also tend to be very hard on ourselves, judge ourselves and be unforgiving towards ourselves.

But rather than focusing on our limitations or frailties, try focusing on your potential instead. What are the great things about you? What are you good at? Where do your core talents lie? Are you good with people? Are you compassionate? Are you excellent at a certain skill?

It’s amazing how this shift in focus can change your outlook. We spend so much time thinking negatively about ourselves, imagine all that time was spent believing in ourselves. Start to let go of the fears and doubts holding you back.

 Step #4 to Break Denial of Your Potential: Believe the Sky’s the Limit

Thinking bigger or outside the square will help shake the denial and get you out of the here and now. When you discover what you are passionate about the sky really is the limit in terms of what you can do from that position. From an inspired position you can start to see and visualise what you can do and how you can do it.

 Step #5 to Break Denial of Your Potential: Set Goals

The most practical way to get to a new position is to set some goals. Sit down somewhere you feel comfortable and allow yourself to think about things your denial may not have been letting you think about.

• What goals do you feel will help you reach your potential and fulfill you personally?
• Where would you like to see yourself in 5 years?
• How is this different from where you are now?
• What kinds of things/changes do you think will help to get you there?

This positive practical action is a great step to help to steer you towards reaching your potential.

As we fulfil who we are as best we can the more contentment and joy we will start to feel in ourselves and share with others. Denial and lack of self-assurance can be what is limiting us from who we really can be.
Melanie has found that having a clear understanding and appreciation of denial and where it comes from has helped her recognize and be awakened to her true potential. This essay about denial by Jeremy Griffith has been instrumental in furthering her understanding.

6 Ways Exercise Can Improve Your Self Confidence

Learning to improve your self-confidence can help you to meet your goals and to find the success that you want in life. Having confidence helps you to take on challenges, to focus on your goals, and to take risks. Without strong self-esteem, you are more likely to take a passive approach to your life, to make excuses for not going after your goals, and to become apathetic about your future.

There are many ways to improve your self-confidence, some of which are explored on this blog. Exercise, while known for its benefits for health and longevity, is another tool that can be used to help promote confidence.

Exercise can help you Improve Your Self-Confidence in a number of ways:

It Makes You Feel Better

When you feel better physically, you feel better mentally. You are better able to take on challenges. You feel more interested in exploring new places and meeting new people. You have the energy to overcome obstacles.

Exercise helps you to feel better physically and mentally, helping you to develop a positive attitude and the emotional stamina needed to take on personal goals.

It Makes You Look Better

When we aren’t happy with the way we look, we develop body image issues and low self-esteem. Therefore, when we aren’t happy with the way we look, we often aren’t happy with the people we are. Negative self-talk can become overwhelming, permeating our thoughts and influencing our actions.

Exercising helps us to build our self-esteem by improving the condition of our bodies. Even if you don’t lose a lot of weight while exercising, you are likely to strengthen and tone your body, making it more firm. Seeing these kinds of results can make you feel better about the way you look and bolster your self-confidence.

It Makes You Stronger

Physical strength can often give you mental strength. When you see what your body is capable of achieving, your self-confidence soars. Exercise shows you what is possible when you put effort into meeting your goals. Every day that you workout, your body grows stronger, giving you nearly immediate results for your hard work. When you are able to lift heavier weights, and achieve harder exercises without as much effort, you start get a feeling like you can do anything!

It Gives You a Sense of Accomplishment

Exercise is all about setting and achieving a series of goals. Maybe you start out hoping to walk for a half an hour every day. Then maybe you graduate to running a mile a day. Soon, you may be running several miles a week and lifting heavier weights. You may be losing weight, or improving your stamina, or developing greater endurance.

Exercise promotes a sense of accomplishment by helping you to meet small, successive goals. There is always opportunity to set your sights higher and to meet new goals. Each time you succeed, you get a sense of accomplishment and improve your self-confidence.

It Reduces Stress

Have you ever experienced the runner’s high? If you have, you understand the stress-busting properties that exercise has. Exercise releases feel-good chemicals in the brain like dopamine and endorphins, and it helps to regulate stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Regular exercise helps you to relieve stress and anxiety, helping you to relax and to focus better.

When you feel less stress, you feel better able to manage the challenges that you face every day. You feel calm and able to concentrate on the tasks that you need to accomplish. All of this helps you to feel more confident — knowing that you are not overwhelmed by stress and anxiety and are fully in charge of your own feelings and actions, guiding your own success.

It Makes You Smarter

Exercise feeds your brain. It helps to feed valuable oxygen and nutrients to your brain to improve cognitive functioning. Think about it: How do you feel after you exercise? Are you able to concentrate more, or do you feel groggy? Do you feel energized and alert, or do you feel sluggish? Of course, exercise makes you feel alert and focused, better able to understand and complete the task at hand.

Improved mental function and focus will help you to complete your goals more efficiently, thus helping to improve your self-confidence.

Exercise helps you to feel mentally and physically prepared for the challenges before you, so that you feel better prepared to achieve your goals. Knowing that you can take on the tasks that you set for yourself helps you to feel confident in any situation. Feeling good about the way you look and the physical achievements you have made only further enhances this self-confidence.

Do you exercise regularly? Do you feel that exercise helps you to improve your self-confidence and the way you feel about yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Sarah Rexman is the main researcher and writer for bedbugs.org. Her most recent accomplishment includes graduating from Florida State, with a master’s degree in environmental science. She loves to stay confident and spiritual in every aspect of her life.

Speaking Up: Confidence in the Workplace

If you suffer from a fear of public speaking (glossophobia) or public speaking anxiety, you may ?nd yourself participating less in team meetings or keeping quiet during brainstorming sessions.

Don’t let your thoughts and ideas go unnoticed. Maintaining a con?dent demeanor at the workplace is vital to your growth and success, especially when it is time for performance reviews. You may be completing and even excelling at your tasks and goals, but your hard work could be overshadowed by more vocal members of your team.

There are a few strategies you can use to speak up and make yourself known in the workplace.

You Can Start Outside the Workplace

Are you the kind of person that doesn’t say something when your restaurant order is wrong? Do you keep quiet when a product rings up at the register for a higher price than marked? When your friends ask for suggestions of what movie to see, do you not make a suggestion?

There’s nothing wrong with politely speaking up.

Start using these situations as an opportunity to practice being more vocal. If you make it a part of your daily lifestyle, it will be easier to speak up in the workplace. But during the process be sure to remember the difference between assertive and aggressive. You can make yourself known without being rude, loud, or condescending.

Ask Questions

You can start by asking questions. If during a meeting you have a concern, make your question known to the audience. By asking thought-provoking questions you can steer a discussion, make others aware of your presence, and highlight potential issues of a project. Questions will also get you thinking, helping you come up with new ideas that you can suggest later.

The best questions ask for further information without belittling or dismissing other ideas.

The examples below are general, but you can ?nd creative ways to apply them to your current position.

• “I see how this project would attract new customers. Do you have estimates on how many?”
• “Is there a way we could make this process more ef?cient without lowering the value of our product?”
• “That idea may work well during this quarter, but what about long-term?”

Make Suggestions

Of course asking questions isn’t enough. Eventually people are going to expect you to provide answers for them.

Before meetings, or even as part of your daily ritual before work, make a list of at least ten strategic ideas or thoughts on improvement based on what you’ll be focused on.
They don’t have to be groundbreaking, even simple suggestions guide projects and people towards success.

These lists will prepare you to speak up throughout your day, especially if you’re put on the spot during a meeting.

Your suggestions may lead to additionally responsibilities or projects, so be prepared to aim for new goals.

Possible suggestions could include everything from minor details to major changes. Perhaps it would save resources to print a document in black and white instead of color, or to print double-sided. Other possible suggestions are listed below.

• “This report is great, but a graph could organize the information in a more visually pleasing way.”
• “Have we researched the results of when we send our company e-mail? Sending it a different day of the week may yield a better response.”
• “Our current advertising campaign focuses on young adults, but I see a market for families as well.”

How many ideas can you come up with for your workplace projects?

Attend Social Events

Lunch with coworkers, the company picnic, the annual holiday party. You may dread these events, and if you do, you may just dismiss them altogether. Besides, they’re not mandatory, right? You just want to do your job without the socializing and politics.

But no matter what position you hold, showing a friendly face is important to your success. There are always safe topics (your personal work, the weather, sports, hobbies) that you can use to guide the conversation to a safe place away from gossip and of?ce politics.

Getting to know your coworkers in social settings gives you an additional opportunity to share ideas, which will bolster your own strategic thinking. Being more familiar with coworkers will also make you more comfortable speaking with them about professional matters in the workplace.

You can start slow, maybe a brief exchange or some small talk at the water-cooler, and eventually grow into being comfortable sharing lunch with workmates, joining a company softball team, or participating in a social planning committee.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll have some fun at the same time.

Speaking with a Professional

If you ?nd these methods don’t work for you, or that the anxiety is too overwhelming, it may be time to speak with a therapist, career coach, or public speaking consultant. It’s important to do research before making this decision and learn which option best suits your needs.

Speak with several professionals before making a decision and see which one best ?ts your goals.

Best of luck in making yourself known and reaching your career goals. Until then, speak strong!

Mike Jousan is an internationally recognized speaker and consultant. Since 1988 he has been leading Clear Communication Company, a consulting firm specializing in all forms of person-to-person communication. He is the author of three books on public speaking and communication. Mike can also be found on LinkedIn.

The Art of Staying True to Yourself

We enter the world as babies bursting with confidence, happy, and totally free to be ourselves. The world is our oyster; we’re eager to explore and life is one big adventure. Every time we fall over, we pick ourselves right back up and keep just going, never worrying what other people think about us. We are born into a world full of opportunity and with the potential to achieve incredible things; let somehow, this potential gets unwittingly crushed between birth and adulthood.

From the very day we are born, we’re subjected to social conditioning from our parents, teachers, the government and the media. We’re taught that in order to succeed in life and be happy we must get good grades at school, go to university and get a well-paid job. If we’re to be accepted within certain social circles we are expected to drive expensive cars, own a big house in an exclusive area, and wear designer clothes.

It an unfortunate reality of the modern world, that in order for a girl to feel beautiful, she’s led to believe that she must look like a model on the cover of a glossy magazine. It’s no surprise then, that gradually over the years, many of us begin to lose our sense of identity, struggle to understand who we really are, and feel misplaced in life.

The sad truth is that we often hide our dreams and true values in order to be accepted by others. By the time we reach adulthood, we’ll have created a whole belief system based on what we’ve been told as we’ve grown up, and instinctively we find evidence to support these beliefs. However, many of them are incredibly limiting such as “I’m not good enough” or “I always fail” etc.

Find Out What You Truly Want

We carry the burden of these beliefs with us throughout our lives without ever questioning whether they are really true, or if they even serve any useful purpose. It’s these limiting beliefs that are the ones that hold us back in life. They keep us boxed in, and make us scared to shine. They make us fearful of what others might think if we reveal who we truly are.

You may want the fast car, a glamorous lifestyle and a big house. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as it’s what you REALLY want and you’re being true to yourself; not what you think you need in order to be happy. If you find yourself being an entirely different person at work to when you are at home; ask yourself: “Is this what I really want, or is this what others expect of me?” “Why can’t I be myself?”

Let Your Personality Shine

The most beautiful people in the world are those who allow their true selves to shine through; they exude confidence, poise and radiate warmth. In doing so, they naturally give others permission to feel beautiful also.
The happiest, most successful people are those who follow their heart, pursue their dreams and have such an indestructible belief in themselves and what they’re doing, that others can’t fail to believe in them also.

So as the start of another year looms, ask yourself if you are really happy and living the life that you want. Life is precious and the sands of time are ticking. This isn’t a dress rehearsal; this is your one shot. Life may be short, but it’s also far too long to be living it by someone else’s standards or ideals.

Stay true to yourself; follow your dreams and never, ever, be afraid to reveal the amazing person within you.

Author’s Bio

Gerry Henderson is a Personal and Professional coach. She has a passion for working with people to improve confidence, put the fun back into life, and to find their passion and true purpose.

3 Psychological Factors that Steal Your Self-Esteem

Has anyone ever told you that you do not value or appreciate yourself enough? That you are too competent for your current position? Or that you were too good for your ex?

Were they right?

As odd as it may sound, other people often are much better judges of our character and our talents than we are. The reason is that our self-image is greatly distorted by our unconscious beliefs, past experiences and most importantly our level of self-esteem.

The tricky part is that most of us are sure that our self-esteem is high and healthy, yet we consistently under appreciate our skills, over doubt our decisions and under act when opportunities present themselves.

Think about it – Have you ever been in situations where you could have acted with a little more boldness, but at the last minute you chickened out and let the opportunity pass right in front of your nose?

I know I have and I actually do not believe myself to suffer from low self-esteem.
It is not poor self-esteem that is the problem, but the occasional ‘mental friction’ that arises at the worst possible moment in the worst possible place.

At the base of this friction lie three psychological factors that largely contribute to dampened self-confidence, occasional self-doubts and groundless shyness:

Self-Esteem Factor #1: Locus of control

This strangely sounding psychology term has a lot to do with personal responsibility and feeling of being in control of our destiny. As a rule people with an internal locus of control see their accomplishments and failures as a direct result of their actions. People with an external locus of control believe that “things just happen to them”, therefore, they attribute their successes and failures to forces outside their influence (e.g. luck or fate).

Depending on the circumstances our locus of control can shift either inwardly or outwardly.

For example, when we start blaming other people or external factors for our problems, we give away our right to improve the situation and this decision impedes our self-confidence and empowers a “victim mentality”. On the other hand, taking the decision to take responsibility for everything that happens to us, both good and bad, we gain power to change what we do not like and work on those areas of our life that need improvement.

Self-Esteem Factor #2: Self-Validation

Self-esteem is not something we are simply born with. It is an opinion and a number of beliefs that we form about ourselves and our abilities over the course of our life. These self-beliefs are based on: an objective feedback that we get from our environment, conclusions that we make about ourselves and our perception of how other people view us.

When these three factors are in balance, our self-esteem is strong and healthy. But as soon as we start placing higher importance on what others think of us (or what we believe they think of us) we lose our center to the point of conforming our personality and goals to other people’s desires.

This type of behavior creates inner friction between what we would like to do and what we feel we “must do” in order to be liked and to feel good about ourselves. To eliminate this friction and boost our self-esteem we should know when to listen to someone else’s advice and when to follow our own heart, even at the cost of disapproval.

Self-Esteem Factor #3: Sense of Competence

The third factor talks about how good we believe we are at what we do. My 6-year old nephew, for example, firmly believes that he is great at things he has never tried in his life, like ice-skating or ghost-hunting. And to my outward amazement he learns new skill with remarkable speed.

You and I may be more careful about making claims of our mastery. We rely on our experience, our accomplishments and actual results of our actions before deciding whether we are skilled at something or not.
When we do not feel we are making any progress, our level of self-esteem decreases and we start having doubts about our abilities.

But in order to improve and develop our talents, we need to learn how to separate our performance from who we are. A setback or a single mistake does not make us a failure. It simply makes us human.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Boost your Self Esteem

Comparing ourselves to others is a complex process and can lead to very different outcomes. The consequences of which vary greatly depending on how and why we choose to draw comparisons with others.

Positive Comparisons

Reassurance is a key factor with self-comparison; people stand themselves up against others as a checking in or reference point. We look out for people with similar characteristics and mark ourselves against them.

For example; mothers may look to other mothers dealing with young children and asses their parenting skills. The outcome of this is that they sense that they are achieving the same outcome and feel good about what they are doing.

We can also learn and improve through comparing ourselves, look at what others are doing and see how they have done this, using this as a benchmark.

Comparing ourselves to older and more experienced individuals can also be a useful way of looking at our own development and can provide assistance to choosing paths. Learning from the mistakes of others and understanding that life doesn’t always run smoothly can help us move forward.

Observing the lives of others on a global scale or as close as next door can help put perspective on our own lives.

Negative Comparisons

Choosing to compare ourselves against people or situations that make us feel inadequate is an utter waste of time. If you had a painful cut on your finger would you rub a handful of salt all over the wound? No you would not; you would clean the cut and put a plaster on it. If you are feeling unsuccessful and down on yourself, take positive steps towards self-improvement and protect yourself rather than adding insult to injury.

Battling insecurities through bringing up irrelevant comparisons is a dangerous game, the gut-wrenching emotions of uselessness that emerge are poisonous and can easily be avoided through taking control and not allowing yourself to get pulled into this pointless game.

The list of negative self-comparisons is endless, generally it will reflect whatever it is that you are struggling with at the time, below I have outlined a few examples of some of the most common forms:

• Body image: Feeling insecure about your appearance or weight? Picking up a magazine and flicking through pictures of scantily clad models is not going to help! Looking at the weight loss and dieting efforts of celebrities against your own is fruitless. All you are getting is an image with a brief written capsule of text you have nothing real or concrete to set against yourself. Ditch the magazines and opt for a novel instead.
• Relationships: Comparing yourself against your current partners ex is a sure fire way of creating avoidable bitterness and angst. Maybe she seems more successful? More attractive? More fun? Torturing yourself about the past can distance you from the present, it is your future that you are working towards, concentrate on what you are doing right and what works and learn to leave what is in the past: behind.
• Career: If you are feeling uncertain of unhappy in your current career, putting yourself up against someone who you see as being more successful is a damaging approach. Dwelling on how well somebody else is achieving does nothing but hinder your own development. Instead look into positive steps to improve your working situation.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Whoever or whatever it is that you use to negatively compare yourself against, should be recognised and dealt with.

Feeling jealously towards people involved in your life can be difficult to deal with; you may be very fond of them but find them difficult to be around when you are having moments of self-doubt. Rather than subjecting yourself to them, take a little break, it is far better to distance yourself for a moment than tainting a friendship with jealousy.

Making yourself aware of what makes you feel inadequate is a great way of dealing with it, learn to recognise how and why you get involved in this negative cycle and quickly remove yourself.

Think: comparing yourself to others is pointless, because there has never been or will be a person just like you!

Anne Davies is the author of anne’s-aneries a daily lifestyle blog, anne also guest blogs on on a varied selection of topics, from affordable bridal sets to self-help guides.

5 Ways to Lose Belly Fat and Improve Your Self Esteem

 

Although belly fat and self-esteem are two totally different terms there is a direct connection between them. It is proven that people who have belly fats or are overweight have lower self-esteem than people who are fit and healthy. This is also the reason why they say that if you can lose weight you will look great but most importantly feel better.

So what someone can do to get rid of the bulgy belly? For starters let me say that it is not an easy task to do, in fact losing belly fat is one of the most challenging tasks in the world of fitness. This is because there is no magic way you can use to lose fat from the belly alone. You need to work hard and for a long time to start losing fat from the whole body and then concentrate on the belly.

Despite the difficulties of the process it certainly worth’s the effort because at the end you will enjoy a healthier body and your self-esteem will dramatically rise. You will no longer have to wear bigger size clothes to hide the belly and going to the beach on a bikini will be your favorite activity for the summer months. Here are the 5 ways to lose belly fat.

1. Cardio exercises

Doing cardio exercises is one of the cores of losing that belly fat. You can do a thousand sit- ups every day and it wouldn’t make your belly look better unless you do cardio exercises. Doing this kind of exercise for at least thirty minutes a day, three times a week is ideal. You can choose from running, brisk walking, lap swimming or even jumping ropes. Cardio exercises is all about making your heart beat faster, so anything that will make you pant is good.

2. Strength training exercises

Muscles burns fat, so the more muscles you have the more they will help your body burn fat at a faster rate. Strength training is a great way to develop muscles and tone them, so picking up strength training is greatly beneficial to lose belly fat. Just make sure to speak with your doctor prior to doing this and get fitness professional to help you start a routine.

3. Hold your stomach

Muscles get toned when you constantly work them out, and holding your stomach in actually adds tension to the stomach. By making this a habit, you work out your belly muscles and have a great posture at the same time.

4. Avoid full fat foods

You may sometimes read about fat burning foods and how they can help you get rid of fat. In reality fat burning foods do not exist. What are available are foods that can help you minimize the consumption of fat through your daily meals. For example low fat dairy products carry less fat than full fat products. Sugar free drinks (diet or light) are better than normal soft drinks. In general you need to be selective on what you eat and drink and avoid items that are not fat friendly.

5. Be consistent

We mentioned above that losing belly fat is a challenging task and in order to cope with it you need to work hard and have patience because results may take long to come. Consistency is a key factor in the whole process. You need to exercise regularly and for 3-4 months before seeing any difference on the size of your belly. Do not hurry and do not get disappointed. Follow your diet and workout schedule without cheating and sooner or later you will get the results you always wanted.

Chris writes about how to lose belly fat in his blog. If you want to find out more you can also read about the best exercises to lose belly fat.

Children Who Wear Glasses: 5 Tips for Positive Self-Esteem

All children have an innate desire to fit in with everyone around them. While parents can see and appreciate their child’s uniqueness and individualism, children may not have positive self-esteem if they appear different from their peers. If your child is one who needs to wear glasses and is demonstrating poor self-esteem because of it, there are five things you can do as a parent to help.

1. Make it Fun

If you had a difficult time getting your child to the eye doctor and making him sit for the exam, imagine how hard it will be for him to keep something on his face that he despises. Set aside a day where you and your child can go shopping for frames. Give your child freedom to choose ones that he likes and will feel good wearing, but always within reason. You will have the best luck if you choose a few that are “parent-approved” and let him make a decision from there. You can also buy a fun, brightly colored case, or a case with his favorite cartoon character, that he will enjoy carrying around.

2. Show Pictures

Prepare a slideshow or look through magazines and books to show your child that he is not alone. Nick Jr. has a website devoted especially for children wearing eyeglasses, and they use your child’s favorite Nicktoon character as an example. If he idolizes the Backyardigans or Diego, he will see that his hero is wearing them and that he can be like them. If your child is older and has a favorite band, musician, actor or athlete, try to find photos of these individuals wearing their glasses. This can help your child to feel that wearing glasses can be cool.

3. Teach Proper Care

Teach your child how to properly care for his glasses. Unless you want to find him outside trying to fry eggs on the sidewalk with his lenses, show him what to do, then give him the materials and let him try it himself. Your child will gain a sense of responsibility and pride, which will make him feel more like an adult. If you wear glasses, set an example by going through the same motions as you teach your child. Carry your glasses with you, and have lens-cleaning parties with your child.

4. Celebrate Unique Talents

As a parent, you must take it upon yourself to show your child that he is special and that his talents and personality are what shine through. If your child is bright academically, he should be encouraged for his hard work. If your child excels at reading and shows promise of creative thinking, teach him that his skills are worth more than his appearance. If your child is musically gifted, you should persuade him to practice his instrument, learn a new instrument, or start a playgroup where he can play music with his friends. Focus on skills, talents and abilities, not appearance.

5. Show Love

Assure your child that he is loved no matter what he looks like. Let him know that he is not the only one who feels this way. Spend one day a week where you take him to a place of his choosing, whether it be the mall, a park, or out to eat. Remind him that he has to wear his glasses but the activity is up to him. This will help him feel more comfortable in public.

Above all, celebrate your child’s uniqueness. Teach him that there is more to someone than just their appearance, and even people who wear glasses can grow up to lead successful, happy lives.

Sara Roberts is a content contributor for Just Eyewear, a prescription eyeglasses and prescription sunglasses retailer.

Body Image… Body Image

Do you avoid looking in the mirror? Are you critical of the shape of your body? Do you feel that you can’t measure up to our society’s image of what is beautiful?

Your body image is how you see yourself in the mirror, picture yourself in your mind, or talk to yourself about your body. Having a negative body image is a widespread problem for girls. Research says that only 9 percent of high school girls are overweight according to medical standards, but four times that number think that they are.

This is quite alarming since it points to the fact that girls seem to base their unrealistic standards and negative body talk on what they see in the media or on criticism from family members. Sadly, you can learn a lot that is negative about your body from family members. So, its no surprise that you have unhealthy ideas about food, weight, and appearance.

However, you can decide to take care of yourself in healthier ways by not referring to your body in negative terms. Here are a few tips for you to do just that.

1. Don’t beat yourself up about your bodily flaws or obsess over them. Each of you will have different assets and flaws. Try and focus on your assets and beautiful parts and don’t focus on your flaws.

2. Watch negative self-talk. Try not to say anything negative about your body. Your body is the temple for your soul and because of this it is valuable in its own right, regardless of whether or not you measure up to another person’s idea of what is right for you.

3. Try to carry yourself with confidence. Walk tall, talk assertively and present yourself in a confident world to the world. Think about the amazing things that your body can do and compliment your unique assets.

4. Engage in positive self-talk. Two or three times a day, find something nice to say about your body. Learn to like yourself. Each of you have something that you absolutely love about yourself. Celebrate those things as often as possible.

You have a right to be different from what your friends and family and the media want you to look like. Choose your own body type and live in accordance to it without worrying what others think too much. You deserve peace of mind.

Irene S. Roth has an adolescent blog and is in the middle of writing 3 E-books about self-esteem and self-confidence for girls. Please look out for them the Winter/Spring of 2011 at http://adolescentgirlsblog.wordpress.com