A lack of self-confidence can have a negative impact on your life in many ways. In addition to harming your personal life, your professional life can be affected as well. Instead of accepting your low self esteem as just how it is, you should instead work on improving self confidence. Here are five tips to help you get started.

Stop Comparing

There will always be someone who is smarter, richer, prettier, thinner, more talented and more pulled together than you. Stop with the comparisons. People with low self esteem will NEVER feel that they measure up so making such comparisons does nothing but set you up to feel even worse.

Instead of wasting your time comparing yourself to others, learn to find the things about you that you like. Since people who lack self confidence tend to focus on what they view as their flaws, this might be difficult at first, but you have got to try and focus on the positive.

Focus on the Good

When you look in the mirror do you hate what you see? Women especially tend to focus on what they consider flaws. For example, a woman who is pretty happy with her hair is likely to ignore the hair and instead focus on her skin that she thinks is awful.

When she looks in the mirror, all of her focus is on the skin. Instead, you need to retrain yourself to focus on the hair first. Concentrate on what you like about yourself and your flaws can seem less obvious.

Learn a New Skill

A great tip for improving self confidence is to learn something new. When you tackle a new skill, it gives you that “yes, I can” feeling. Find something that you are interested in such as photography, web design or cake making and then take a class.

In addition to learning a new skill, you will have the added bonus of meeting new people with similar interests.

Improve Your Health

If you feel you are a bit overweight (or a lot overweight), then now is the time to start an exercise routine. Start with at least thirty minutes of exercise several times a week and then build up from there. Many people do not realize that making changes to your eating habits can not only help you shed pounds, but it can increase your energy level and help give you a sharper focus. All of those things can help build self confidence.

Volunteer

Another tip for improving self confidence is to volunteer. Put yourself in a situation where you are helping someone else. This can give you a feeling of empowerment as well as give you a glimpse into the lives of people who may have it a lot worse than you do.

One of the biggest factors when trying to improve self confidence is learning to see the positive side rather than the negative side of your looks, talents and abilities. Start with the tips above and then figure out what else you can do. Do not let a lack of self confidence hold you back. You are worth so much more than that.

How to develop your confidence to increase your effectiveness and satisfaction

Have you ever met someone who appeared to be very confident in who he or she was? What did you notice? Well first of all, they appeared at ease. They seemed to be comfortable with who they were and what they said. Did you also notice that people seemed to pay attention to them? And perhaps what they said was not all that profound. In fact, maybe you said to yourself something like “I have said that before.”

Perhaps all of us would agree that it is a desirable trait to grow in our level of confidence. Those who do often see greater effectiveness in their accomplishments and an increased level of personal satisfaction.

Roadblocks to a Healthy Confidence Level

Often in life we get headed in the right direction only to find out we have bumped into a major roadblock. Now our momentum is stalled. So, what are some of those possible roadblocks to achieving a healthy confidence level? Here are just a few.

#1. Words said to Us.

Perhaps you can hear these words still ringing in your mind, “You are never going to be able to do that.” “Who do you think you are?” “Your sister can do that a lot better than you can.” “You see, there you go again making a mess out of everything.” Maybe even as you read this the painful emotions started flooding back. Words spoken to us often by the ones we value the most are so incredibly powerful. Often they shape our destiny.

#2. Lack of Experience.

At times we can be very tentative about trying something simply because it is new to us. I have never been there before and frankly I am afraid. I can be afraid I won’t be able to do it. I can be afraid someone will judge me due to perhaps poor performance. Or, maybe I am afraid because I just don’t know all what will need to be done. So, what happens? I don’t try. After all, it is more comfortable to just not take the chance.

Realize Your Destiny

Have you ever stopped to think deeply about yourself? As human beings there is something pretty amazing about who we are. Our ability to dream about our futures, feel tender emotions for a spouse or close friend and make a significant difference in the life of someone else through a simple act of kindness are indicators that we are quite unique.

Whether we are aware of it or not, there is something deep inside of us that desires to reach beyond where we currently are now. At times we day dream about who we could become. I have done some amazing things in my mind! All of this points to the fact that there is some greatness in us that if we knew how, we could achieve a much deeper level of personal fulfillment and satisfaction.

A Helpful Tool

So, what can help a person realize his or her destiny? What could help us develop a healthy self-confidence? I love the truth that as I give to other people, I will receive something of value back. Let’s go back to how words can have such a profound impact on our lives. Imagine as a young person you were put down by your parents and siblings. You experienced many painful moments and as a result deep inside you are a mess. Oh, most people don’t know this because we have become professionals at masking how we really feel. So, while people used harsh words on me I now will start a new pattern in my life – I will give to others what I would want them to give to me.

Here is your action step. In the next 30 minutes find someone and genuinely appreciate the person for who he or she is or for what the person did. You need to say the words and you also must be sincere.

After doing this once, find other opportunities to do it. Begin to make it a pattern in your life. I believe that what you give to others will in fact come back to you. I would love to hear your stories about this.

1. Negative and Hopeless Language.

If someone talks about themselves in a negative way quite frequently, then they are making it clear that they really don’t think highly of themselves. Saying things like “It’s not possible”, “I can’t do that”, “I’m bad at everything”, “I’m not good enough”, etc. Phrases like those are very negative, it really doesn’t help at all to build ones self esteem. People who generally think negative thoughts and feelings towards themselves look at the world in a negative way.

2. Frequently Depressed.

Being depressed at times is normal but constantly or frequently being depressed can be a sign of low self esteem. There are times in everyone’s lives when they become depressed because of work, family issues and many more reasons. For those that are depressed a lot it could mean that there are many things you are unhappy about. For example looks, lack of friends, lack of social life, loneliness, missed opportunities and no joy or excitement in your life.

3. Perfection.

Do you seem to always try to look perfect for everyone or try to do things perfectly to be noticed? Now this isn’t always a bad thing, it’s good to look your best and do things right. It can take over your life trying to be “perfect” instead of just enjoying being yourself and living your life. If you’re trying to look perfect to impress people then you aren’t showing your true personality. Trying to be the perfect person for other people is downgrading yourself since all you’re doing is fading out who you are to please someone else. Everyone has imperfections which are a part of how you are.

4. Keeping To Yourself.

Being alone and distancing yourself from people is very unhealthy. We need to interact with people and engage in conversation. If you find yourself trying to miss people and not speak or interact with them, then try to muster up the courage to speak to them and find out how they are and what they’ve been up to. Being alone is horrible at times. So if you’re usually keeping to yourself, go out there and strike up a conversation with someone.

5. Playing It Safe.

Not taking risks or not been adventurous is very easy to do and people with low self esteem do it A LOT! Do you seem to always be the follower and never the leader? Well maybe it’s time to take a leadership role and take control of your life. “With risk comes great reward” so take a leap of faith and the next time an opportunity comes your way to lead a work project or lead your team to victory take it. You will start to experience more things and enjoy life more.

6. Feeling Guilty.

Feeling guilty about mistakes and other little things, like getting in someone’s way, can be very depressing. If you find yourself apologizing a lot for things which don’t need apologizing for, shows you have low self esteem. People might even think they can take advantage of you since you are a bit of a push over. Standing up for yourself and sticking with a decision is important and people respect you for this.

7. Public Speaking.

Being put in the spot light whether it’s making a presentation or just in a conversation with a group of friends, can make you feel very nervous and self conscious. If you find yourself always trying to get other people to do the talking then it’s important to change that. Right now is a really good time to start. By not being able to speak to people or be the speaker in a conversation, then what you’re doing is hiding who you are. It’s important to express yourself and your opinion in different matters.

There are times in life when almost everyone has thought about giving up. Frustrated and feeling like nothing is working for them, a person can get to the point of saying, “What’s the use in trying anymore?”

Reaching that point in life, most of the time a person chooses one of two courses. If someone is really discouraged, they can choose to accept their “plight in life.” They see their dreams or goals as unattainable. They believe that for them, “This is just the way that it is.”

But others choose a different path. Yes, they too may be discouraged. They may very well be very frustrated and feel like giving up. But, instead, they choose not to give up. They choose to keep trying.

Life is not without challenges and setbacks no matter who you are. With the current economic situations many of those challenges seem to be magnified. It can be tempting to think, “Why bother trying anymore?”

This is not only true with economic challenges, but with relationships, illness, special projects; it’s true with any number of different things. But no matter what it is you are thinking about “giving up” on, before you do, consider two important questions.

First, why was this important to you in the first place? Whether it is a relationship, a job promotion, a dream of yours, a new business, moving to a new city, etc., why was it important to begin with? Really be honest in answering this question.

Secondly, do you feel like quitting because it is no longer important to you, or, because it hasn’t worked out yet like you expected it to? Here’s a key in answering this second question: if it no longer important to you, then it really isn’t a big deal to abandon it. But, on the other hand, if you are feeling sad and remorseful in giving up on something, then it is still important to you.

If something is important to you, I don’t believe you ever have to quit. Your goals and your dreams are yours. The desires of your heart are deeply personal and they are very important because they are yours. The Bible states that God will give you the desires of your heart, so He must think they are important as well.

So, if something is still important to you then you can either give up, or, you can refuse to quit. I know that refusing to quit is easier said than done. I’ve been there in my life many times.

Here are some keys that will help you to stay on course and not quit.

It really takes no more effort to focus on a negative than it does to focus on a positive. So many times when we are ready to give up and quit we are focusing only on the problem. All we see is that we do not have what we desire. That tempts us to complain and blame.

Put your focus back on your goal, back on what you desire. Yes, you need to track your status in terms of accomplishment, but keep your main focus on your desire.

Dismiss and let go of worry, doubt and fear. The greatest detriment to success is fear of failure. Put your trust in God. His message to you is, “Fear not.” So, when you have those feelings of fear, toss them out and replace them with thoughts of confidence; Say, “I can do this!”

Next, write down a plan, any kind of a plan. It doesn’t have to be 10 pages long. As a matter of fact, if you can only write one or two things down that’s fine. That’s your plan right now.

This is very helpful especially if you feel like you are at the end of your ropes and that you have already tried everything. That doesn’t matter now. You have decided not to quit, so you are now re-grouping. Just write something down. You can add to it later, but you need to start somewhere.

Doing this helps to eliminate the worries of how and what and where. Instead of looking at past setbacks you are now focusing on a solution. Here is what I am going to do right now.

For example, you may simply write down, “pray.” That’s fine. Maybe that’s all you can do right now, today. Then tomorrow, you add to it, “Evaluate what I have been doing.”

After a time you can add lots of things to your plan such as: what you will continue to do, what might need adjusting, what new things you can do, what additional information you need to learn and who can you get help from.

If something is indeed important to you, then don’t quit. Have confidence in God and stay persistent. The learning when you stay on the journey is invaluable, and as many have said, many times more fulfilling than actually achieving the goal or dream.

Finally, refuse to think or utter anything negative about your dream or goal. Always speak positively about it. I will get there. I am making progress. I am moving forward. It doesn’t matter how slow the progress, what matters is that I am moving forward because I refuse to quit.

If you are a bit shy or more socially challenged than you’d like to be, there are simple yet effective steps you can take to solve the problem and conduct more enjoyable relationships. This brief article will show you how to become more assertive and daring socially, provide stronger leadership and come out of your shell, one step at a time, increasing your happiness.

First of all, realize you can change your behavior. All behavior is learned and can be unlearned. New behaviors can be acquired. We do it all the time, without thinking.

It helps to make small changes first – changes that will be easy to make and lead to bigger changes later on. Often the trick to get yourself doing that which is uncomfortable, such as acting in a more outgoing way, is to start small. Once you get used to the new way of interacting with others, successive changes will seem easier.

Case Example

Recently I was working with a woman who had been very shy as a child, but thought she had grown out of her shyness. Unfortunately, in several social situations she had been acting like the withdrawn child she had once been. She asked me for help.

Here’s what we did. I asked Louise to go to a coffee shop and sit where she would like to sit and enjoy a beverage in her usual manner. And, I gave her a new task: to simply observe her way of doing this. Then we analyzed her choices and behaviors.

She chose to sit in a corner, away from people and off to herself. She buried her head in the newspaper and seldom came out for air. She tended to keep her eyes to herself. She rarely smiled or spoke to anyone.

Her next assignment was to go back to the coffee shop and make a few small changes in her behavior. This time she was to sit in a more open area, closer to other people. Other than that, she was to enjoy herself in the usual way — by drinking a favorite elixir and reading the paper, listening to the music, enjoying the ambiance, etc.

She did this and was able to have a good time without being afraid. A step in the right direction.

Next, I asked her to go back to the same coffee shop and . . . sit at a table which was right in the middle of the action, plus she was to smile at three people.

She did this and enjoyed herself, although the smiling part was a little anxiety-provoking, as she kind of worried about what people would think. I helped her to stop worrying and get that smile going.

On the next visit, she was to say hello to three people. And the one after that she was to smile at everyone she saw. Eventually, she was to say “hello” to anyone she wished.

She excelled at each of these tasks, and she concentrated on the task of the moment, and not on changing her behavior in a drastic way or worrying about being the way she wanted. Each week she grew stronger, became more outgoing and felt happier.

Then I asked her to engage in conversations with the employees, whom she was getting to know and, later on, to start a conversation with a stranger. Then another stranger.

Occasionally, Louise would balk at the assignment, but I gave plenty of encouragement and kept her moving in a positive direction. She supplied the willingness and nerve to keep on.

Soon, she was going into the coffeehouse and acting like a different person — a self-confident, outgoing person who loved making new friends and feeling totally comfortable in this social setting.

The next step involved going to another coffee shop. Later, she would go to other restaurants and establishments. In a matter of weeks, she had what she wanted: a more outgoing and assertive person who looked forward to making more friends and enjoying her social life more! And she felt happier than ever.

What Can You Do?

Anyone can do what Louise did. Just remember to start with baby steps. Select a task that is a bit scary, but one you can do without trying too hard. After you get that success under your belt, move on to another task that is a little more daring, but keep it “do-able.”

Keep advancing, one step at a time, until you can graduate to more difficult and challenging tasks. Don’t push it. Just go at your own pace. Remember, it took you years to develop your current habits, so it may take some time to form new ones.

But you can do it.

The Benefits

People who are comfortable socially tend to be better adjusted individuals, who are more successful than those who fear or avoid social situations and demands. Greater comfort in social areas translates into greater happiness, too.

Happy people experience less stress and undergo less wear and tear emotionally than shy or withdrawn types, and tend to live longer, healthier lives.

And they win more friends and influence more people!

“The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.” ~Ralph Charell, American Author

Scientific research claims that human beings think anywhere between 12,000-60,000 thoughts in a day. More than 90% of these thoughts are not new. They are the same as you had the day before, the week before or the month before. And more than 80% of these thoughts are negative and self-critical.

You probably don’t realize how much negative self-talk affects your life.

Change your self-talk, change your life

As simple as that? Well, it is indeed simple:) Your mind is a powerful creative tool (thoughts, images, ideas, emotions, …) that conspires with the universe to create your life.

Why not then indulge in positive self-talk that will change your life? Just imagine how much time and energy you could save by getting rid of 80% of your thoughts which are getting you nowhere?

Observe the Patterns

The first step towards changing your self-talk is to observe the patterns.

What triggers your self-talk? 
How long on an average does it go on before you catch yourself? 
What’s the favorite topic? Your performance at work? Your abilities? Your kids? Your life in general? Your relationship? What people are thinking or saying about you? Your unspoken rule to be “perfect”? 
What do you feel? Guilt? Frustration? Anger? Resentment? Fear?

Take notes

Carry a small journal with you and jot down notes. It’s a powerful way to capture your thoughts and feelings. As you journal, you slowly detach yourself from the self-talk and assume the role of observer. It helps you get a different perspective of yourself and your life. The notes also help track progress over time.

Reduce the intensity of the words

For e.g. “I hate to do this …” can be changed to “I don’t like to do this …”. It’s still not positive, but the word(s) are less intense and negative, and drastically change the way you react and feel. The milder usage of words won’t ruffle up your feathers as much and you hold control over what you choose to experience and feel.

Shift towards neutral and positive self-talk

Now move the negative self-talk to more positive or at least neutral grounds.

Instead of saying, “I can’t …”, say “I can … if I get some…”. 
Instead of saying, “This is impossible!”, say “Let’s see
what can be done”.

Explore creative ways to come up with positive or neutral statements.

Be Curious

The next time you are telling yourself, “Oh! I can’t …”, become curious. Ask yourself,

Or if it’s, “My hair is looking bad again…”, ask yourself,

Or if it’s, “Why doesn’t he get it?”

The objective here is to break the thought pattern and stop your subconscious from just playing back information repetitively. It runs like a program and doesn’t tire at all! So, catch it before it goes into an infinite loop!

And once you reprogram your subconscious with positive self-talk, it’ll become your default tendency. It’s just a matter of time. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit and create a new one.

This week,

• Track your self-talk. What percentage is positive?
• How can you increase the positive self-talk?
• List 5 benefits you’ll enjoy when your self-talk is more positive and productive.

The other day I was driving in the car with my 3-year old son, listening to my iPod through the car radio. The song Ballroom Blitz by Sweet (circa) came on and I started jamming “old school”. Aidan was singing right along! Curious what he was singing, I turned down the radio and cracked up listening to him sing , “On the list……on the list”.

Chuckling, I explained that the words were “Ballroom Blitz”. He was ADAMANT that I was wrong and the words were “On the list”! No matter how hard I tried to convince him, he wouldn’t hear of it.

This happens to us too! Sometimes WE hear things rattling around in our own minds or coming from our own lips that aren’t true. Have you ever made an off the cuff disparaging remark about yourself in front of someone and have them counter what you just said? Maybe you said something like, “I’m just not good at public speaking like you” and they disagreed. Perhaps they even shared a time they thought you were quite inspiring. No matter how hard your friend may try to convince you that your public speaking is great, you won’t hear of it. When the negative thought is so prominent it’s hard to believe the truth just like Aidan not believing me about the song lyrics.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on this as I prepare for a talk I’m giving next week on Being a Woman of Strength Inside and Out, where I’ll be covering the inner strength portion. We cannot have inner strength if we don’t master our inner dialogue.

Mastering our inner dialogue is much more than just a positive attitude. It’s about the subconscious and conscious beliefs we have, how they make us feel, and how they either empower or sabotage our actions. The conscious and subconscious must be in alignment. If you are saying “I want that promotion”, but your subconscious dialogue is saying “Yeah, but, that will mean a whole lot more hours” or “But I probably won’t get it, Linda is much more qualified” or “I’m not sure I have what it takes”, guess what? You DON’T! I’m not trying to be mean, but rather help you understand how important it is to believe in what it is you say you want. Napoleon Hill says it best: “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve”. (Hear him directly at www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hA-7aq6OXI)

I often give a talk titled What’s on Your Inner MP3 Player? in which I share more on this subject. I use the example of an MP3 player to represent our mind with a variety “songs or thoughts”.

The cycle goes something like this: 

• The playlist starts and we hear the internal negative or limiting thought.
• We begin to buy into it.
• This alters our beliefs and can cause fears.
• These fears bring forth more negative thoughts and feelings that hold us back.
• From there, we begin making excuses for why we can’t achieve our goal or be who we want to be.
• These excuses then keep us from taking the actions that really can create the results of our heart’s desire.

It’s a sabotaging playlist and negative cycle often repeated over and over again. The good news is that while we all struggle with this to one degree or another, we CAN change our tunes and create greater success!

So, how do we go about changing those tunes? I’m glad you asked!

1. Start by being more conscious about those thoughts. Notice when they pop up. Often a particular situation or experience can magically press the PLAY button on the negative playlist.
2. Make a list of the negative thoughts and fears you’ve identified. Raising your awareness is the first step towards making change.
3. Pick one belief or fear and work on changing it.

There’s a reason why everybody loves Barack Obama. And no, that’s not because he’s the president of the United States. That bit came after. Everybody loves Barack Obama the same reason everybody loves Ellen DeGeneres, George Clooney and half of the A-list celebrities out there. And that’s because he knows how to be charismatic. With just a smile and a wave, he has the entire world captivated.

You, too, can learn how to be charismatic like Mr. President. Just follow these steps and you’ll soon be on your way to wooing your own public.

Tip # 1 On How To Be Charismatic: Perfect Your Smile.

Smiling is one of the basic steps of charisma. Without a good smile, you’ll have a tough time getting people to warm up to you. Being charismatic means looking approachable. I suggest practicing different smiles in front of the mirror to see which one looks best on you.

As you smile, think about different situations. For example, you might want to think about the time your daughter first learned how to walk and see how your smile looks like then. Or you could think about how you won a contest and see how confident your smile looks in the mirror. The best smile, I think, is the kind of smile that makes people feel like they’re special.

Tip # 2 On How To Be Charismatic: Straighten Your Posture.

Not a lot of people realize how bad their posture really is. It’s different when you’re looking at yourself consciously in a mirror and when you’re standing among the crowd in a subway station.

Having good posture gives other people the impression that you’re confident and that you’re independent. They then become drawn to you like flies to a moth. The way you carry yourself can be more attractive than your actual physical appearance.

Haven’t you ever seen an average Joe or plain Jane who catches attention simply by walking inside a café or restaurant? I tell you. It’s in the way they carry themselves with confidence that exudes charisma like nothing else.

Tip # 3 On How To Be Charismatic: Be Genuine.

There are those who think that to be charismatic, you have to act the part. That’s not entirely true. Not being yourself might even lead people to doubt what your inner motives might be.

When you think about Barack Obama and other charismatic celebrities out there, you can’t help but be drawn to how genuine they seem to be. They appear to be very true to themselves and treat other people the way they want to be treated.

Learning how to be charismatic is simple. There is no need for theatrics and all sorts of underhanded schemes. All it takes is to look inside yourself and get in touch with all the nice and wonderful aspects of you.

A program in the UK does social experiments. Their aim is to see how susceptible the public are to being conned and hustled. For example, one of the cons was to take a car from a car park- in daylight. Cars nowadays are more sophisticated in their locking systems, so the only way to get it is to ask for the keys. If you walk up to a regular person and ask for their keys- chances are you’ll get them…but in your eye. To get the keys from an unsuspecting person is to influence the conditions. Instead of walking up in regular clothes, they walked up with one simple article of clothing- a fluorescent security coat. All he did then was come up with some about needing to run the car through the system again and bring it back. Sure enough, they handed him the keys. I mean, who would argue with authority? One simple change managed to INFLUENCE their responses.

UNDERSTANDING SOCIAL PERCEPTION

Ever looked at a homeless person dressed in rags? Ever seen a big guy with bulldog tattoos and “I love mum” walking down the street? You automatically have perceptions of these people before they even open their mouth. If you look at the typical CLICHE characteristics of, a successful person- things like the way they walk, the way they move, the way they talk, the way they dress- and you MODEL those attributes, then people will begin to react to you as a successful person. In the same way as you could easily turn away from a bum in the street, but you would pay attention to a policeman. You can manipulate the external factors to create a perception about you- and people react to that perception.

ANOTHER SOCIAL EXAMPLE

It all seems like it is about what you wear. That’s true to an extent, but there was another experiment which suggests you can change your body language to influence people. The experiment was gambling. People were asked to go into a room and gamble as they were being observed.

Scenario #1: They entered a room and saw a guy waiting at the table. He looked shy and nervous.

Scenario #2: Different individuals came in to do the test. It was with the same guy- the only difference was he had changed his attitude. He was laid back relaxed in his chair, he gave strong eye contact and didn’t rush up to greet.

The results: they found that the people in scenario #1 with the shy guy gambled MORE money than in scenario #2.

When you realise it was the SAME guy- and the only thing that changed was how he displayed his attitude, then you understand how just a few small changes influenced complete strangers. When he was confident, it made the others feel insecure in gambling all of their money. With the shy guy, they felt a bit more relaxed in being able to win over such “A loser”.

HOW TO USE SOCIAL PERCEPTION TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

By wearing a fluorescent coat, and exhibiting confident and relaxed characteristics- you can influence people to hand you some keys and lose money! Both examples illustrate one thing, and that is: You can influence social behaviour just by displaying the right attributes and characteristics. You want to avoid displaying WEAK characteristics because people unconsciously respond to you as LOW STATUS. This means you probably won’t be listened to or respected as much as you would like. You probably find yourself being overruled the majority of the time. Your opinions are not carried by enough value.

WHAT CHARACTERISTICS SHOULD YOU TAKE ON?

I’ve always believed your external always reflects your internal mindset. But if you do not have a cool, calm and confident persona- then this social experiment doesn’t need it. You are doing these to test and see how people respond to you. But the typical cliché characteristics are:

* Walk slower and take your time. A cool mind is never in a rush. He can handle it 
* Slow your speech down and pause. People will listen to you no matter how long you take. 
* Stand up straight and look out to the world. You’re ready for what comes your way. 
* Spread out when you sit down. Lean back and appear relaxed. 
* Don’t lean in so much. It’s too eager. Let people enter your reality. 
* Don’t laugh as much. People will treat you as the boss- “Make him laugh to win him over” 
* Look at people when you talk. Your gaze plus confident body language is money baby.

Model people who exhibit the qualities you like. People may not know you from Adam, so they have to go on how you present yourself.

There’s a big difference between listening and hearing. Hearing is just letting sound pass through your ears. Listening, on the other hand, requires you to understand what you are hearing.

Unfortunately, people have grown indifferent to conversations, letting words slip by without really understanding what they mean. I think it’s time people start learning ways to improve their listening skills again, don’t you think?

Having good listening skills comes with a lot of benefits. For one, it helps you handle any situation with ease. You might be surprised at what you can deduce based on the words a person uses. And another, people appreciate it when they see that you are really listening to what they have to say. Here are some of the ways to improve your listening skills.

Tip # 1 To Improve Listening Skills: Stay Focused.

Don’t let your mind wander when another person is speaking to you. Keep your eyes on the person talking to prevent your concentration from drifting off. Remember that every word counts.

Even when the topic is boring, pretend you’re interested. That way, you won’t be easily distracted. I sometimes find myself in situations wherein the speaker is less than lively.

One particular example is of a convention I went to a few years ago. One of the speakers was an old man who was talking about past successful activities of a certain organization. I normally don’t stick around during such boring opening remarks, but I needed to be there for an article I was writing.

Instead of tuning him out, I told myself that I was really interested in X organization. That way, I was able to focus all my energy into listening and understanding what he was trying to say.

Tip # 2 To Improve Listening Skills: Don’t Interrupt. 
Don’t interrupt a person especially when he/she is still talking. Aside from being rude, interrupting breaks the flow of the whole conversation.

If you have a question, wait until that person has finished talking. You never know, but your answer might come up in the next five minutes of the conversation. Besides, it’s easier to improve your listening skills when you’re not interrupting somebody every ten seconds.

Tip # 3 To Improve Listening Skills: Stop Stereotyping.

Don’t box a person into a stereotype. Doing so will only distract you from what he/she is saying. Your mind will already have created an opinion about the said person and that will greatly affect your listening skills.

Not only will you be distracted from a good part of the conversation, you will also develop an unhealthy bias towards the person or his/her message.

If you want to improve your listening skills, always keep an open mind. If you find it difficult not to cast stereotypes, pretend that this is the first time you’re hearing about it.

When it comes down to it, trying to improve your listening skills is about respect. It’s respect for the person who is talking and respect for his/her actual message. It’s also about clear communication. You can communicate much better if you know how to listen effectively. I hope these tips have helped you get a better ear for words.