The Art of Staying True to Yourself

We enter the world as babies bursting with confidence, happy, and totally free to be ourselves. The world is our oyster; we’re eager to explore and life is one big adventure. Every time we fall over, we pick ourselves right back up and keep just going, never worrying what other people think about us. We are born into a world full of opportunity and with the potential to achieve incredible things; let somehow, this potential gets unwittingly crushed between birth and adulthood.

From the very day we are born, we’re subjected to social conditioning from our parents, teachers, the government and the media. We’re taught that in order to succeed in life and be happy we must get good grades at school, go to university and get a well-paid job. If we’re to be accepted within certain social circles we are expected to drive expensive cars, own a big house in an exclusive area, and wear designer clothes.

It an unfortunate reality of the modern world, that in order for a girl to feel beautiful, she’s led to believe that she must look like a model on the cover of a glossy magazine. It’s no surprise then, that gradually over the years, many of us begin to lose our sense of identity, struggle to understand who we really are, and feel misplaced in life.

The sad truth is that we often hide our dreams and true values in order to be accepted by others. By the time we reach adulthood, we’ll have created a whole belief system based on what we’ve been told as we’ve grown up, and instinctively we find evidence to support these beliefs. However, many of them are incredibly limiting such as “I’m not good enough” or “I always fail” etc.

Find Out What You Truly Want

We carry the burden of these beliefs with us throughout our lives without ever questioning whether they are really true, or if they even serve any useful purpose. It’s these limiting beliefs that are the ones that hold us back in life. They keep us boxed in, and make us scared to shine. They make us fearful of what others might think if we reveal who we truly are.

You may want the fast car, a glamorous lifestyle and a big house. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as it’s what you REALLY want and you’re being true to yourself; not what you think you need in order to be happy. If you find yourself being an entirely different person at work to when you are at home; ask yourself: “Is this what I really want, or is this what others expect of me?” “Why can’t I be myself?”

Let Your Personality Shine

The most beautiful people in the world are those who allow their true selves to shine through; they exude confidence, poise and radiate warmth. In doing so, they naturally give others permission to feel beautiful also.
The happiest, most successful people are those who follow their heart, pursue their dreams and have such an indestructible belief in themselves and what they’re doing, that others can’t fail to believe in them also.

So as the start of another year looms, ask yourself if you are really happy and living the life that you want. Life is precious and the sands of time are ticking. This isn’t a dress rehearsal; this is your one shot. Life may be short, but it’s also far too long to be living it by someone else’s standards or ideals.

Stay true to yourself; follow your dreams and never, ever, be afraid to reveal the amazing person within you.

Author’s Bio

Gerry Henderson is a Personal and Professional coach. She has a passion for working with people to improve confidence, put the fun back into life, and to find their passion and true purpose.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Boost your Self Esteem

Comparing ourselves to others is a complex process and can lead to very different outcomes. The consequences of which vary greatly depending on how and why we choose to draw comparisons with others.

Positive Comparisons

Reassurance is a key factor with self-comparison; people stand themselves up against others as a checking in or reference point. We look out for people with similar characteristics and mark ourselves against them.

For example; mothers may look to other mothers dealing with young children and asses their parenting skills. The outcome of this is that they sense that they are achieving the same outcome and feel good about what they are doing.

We can also learn and improve through comparing ourselves, look at what others are doing and see how they have done this, using this as a benchmark.

Comparing ourselves to older and more experienced individuals can also be a useful way of looking at our own development and can provide assistance to choosing paths. Learning from the mistakes of others and understanding that life doesn’t always run smoothly can help us move forward.

Observing the lives of others on a global scale or as close as next door can help put perspective on our own lives.

Negative Comparisons

Choosing to compare ourselves against people or situations that make us feel inadequate is an utter waste of time. If you had a painful cut on your finger would you rub a handful of salt all over the wound? No you would not; you would clean the cut and put a plaster on it. If you are feeling unsuccessful and down on yourself, take positive steps towards self-improvement and protect yourself rather than adding insult to injury.

Battling insecurities through bringing up irrelevant comparisons is a dangerous game, the gut-wrenching emotions of uselessness that emerge are poisonous and can easily be avoided through taking control and not allowing yourself to get pulled into this pointless game.

The list of negative self-comparisons is endless, generally it will reflect whatever it is that you are struggling with at the time, below I have outlined a few examples of some of the most common forms:

• Body image: Feeling insecure about your appearance or weight? Picking up a magazine and flicking through pictures of scantily clad models is not going to help! Looking at the weight loss and dieting efforts of celebrities against your own is fruitless. All you are getting is an image with a brief written capsule of text you have nothing real or concrete to set against yourself. Ditch the magazines and opt for a novel instead.
• Relationships: Comparing yourself against your current partners ex is a sure fire way of creating avoidable bitterness and angst. Maybe she seems more successful? More attractive? More fun? Torturing yourself about the past can distance you from the present, it is your future that you are working towards, concentrate on what you are doing right and what works and learn to leave what is in the past: behind.
• Career: If you are feeling uncertain of unhappy in your current career, putting yourself up against someone who you see as being more successful is a damaging approach. Dwelling on how well somebody else is achieving does nothing but hinder your own development. Instead look into positive steps to improve your working situation.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Whoever or whatever it is that you use to negatively compare yourself against, should be recognised and dealt with.

Feeling jealously towards people involved in your life can be difficult to deal with; you may be very fond of them but find them difficult to be around when you are having moments of self-doubt. Rather than subjecting yourself to them, take a little break, it is far better to distance yourself for a moment than tainting a friendship with jealousy.

Making yourself aware of what makes you feel inadequate is a great way of dealing with it, learn to recognise how and why you get involved in this negative cycle and quickly remove yourself.

Think: comparing yourself to others is pointless, because there has never been or will be a person just like you!

Anne Davies is the author of anne’s-aneries a daily lifestyle blog, anne also guest blogs on on a varied selection of topics, from affordable bridal sets to self-help guides.

The Facts About Confidence

Facing the world full of confidence is sometimes out of your league particularly if you have come up against or been compromised by adversity, in some form or other. If this is the case, learn how to get back on track by reminding yourself of the facts about confidence.

Failure

Sometimes you may be afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone to take advantage of an opportunity but refrain for fear of the slightest chance of failure. You must not let this be a deterrent. Don’t put yourself under unnecessary pressure by thinking you have to be perfect to take on a new venture. Accept that there may be setbacks but prepare yourself to tackle what lies ahead. As long as you are in a positive frame of mind it will be surprising what you can achieve. If any setbacks occur learn from them and move on.

Negativity

To be able to combat negative influences, you must understand what makes you tick. Learn where your weaknesses lie and strive to build on them because this is where any negative influence will strike. At the same time ensure you are aware of your strengths as this will empower you to overcome any negative influences when then arise.

Making Comparisons

Comparing yourself with others is a common problem that many people struggle to overcome. This develops if you focus too often on others whom you put on a pedestal, by looking through rose coloured spectacles at their lives, using your precious time when your concentration should be on your own life. In fact all too often when you are pre-occupied in doing this you tend to neglect seeing the good things you have in your life. So make sure you focus on yourself which will be far more constructive.

Unable to Cope

To admit being unable to cope with a situation is not a sign of weakness or failure. Everyone will face this predicament at some time in their life. Being able to ask for help from people you trust when you are overwhelmed by work, home or social demands only shows that you are human and normal.

Social Skills

Although new social situations can seem daunting, especially meeting strangers, making small talk is easier than you think. In doing so you will gain social skills that will enhance your life and give a boost to your confidence. In addition you will also acquire new acquaintances and obtain more knowledge maybe in new areas that have always interested you but have been unable to become involved.

Saying “No”

Learning how to say no can be a very difficult situation only if you allow it. Many people find it easier to say yes than no, purely for the fact that they feel they are letting someone down or because they think people will not like them. But this is not true. The ability to say no in the right situation commands respect from others and at the same time will alleviate the stress from your life.

These facts about confidence are reminders for you, should you feel your confidence levels need a boost. Taking a little time out of your busy day to reflect on your level of confidence could prove to be extremely worthwhile.

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by Kathryn James
For further information visit http://www.positivity2prosperity.com

Seven Simple Ways to Fall in Love With Yourself

Not feeling the spark about who you are and why you’re alive?

Can’t get excited about the day ahead of you?

Feel like you’re not in love with yourself?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my 50 years of life, and over 25 years of helping myself and others lead a life filled with energy and enthusiasm, it’s that everything begins with an authentic desire to feel better. This is just another way of saying that what we all want to be filled with our own love, bubbling up from inside of ourselves, and expressed outwardly into the world. We want to be free to place our energy and authentic desires into creative activities that have meaning to us personally.

While there are many ways and many paths to achieving this higher state of consciousness, I wanted to share some really specific and concrete things you can do today, right now, or this week to change the dynamics of your relationship with yourself and start feeling excited about your life again.

Simple, fun, and effective! Here you go…

Create a Big Vision for Your Life.

Think big and write it down. There’s something magical about thinking into the future and imaging yourself living a great life. Writing down your dreams begins the process of crystallizing that imagined life by moving it into reality. No longer is your desire swirling around in your ethereal mist. It has now taken a step into physical life.

Start Small.

A big dream is exactly that-BIG. And big often implies overwhelming. That’s why your big written dream is only a roadmap, not a daily action plan. Use your dreams as a guidepost to determine your everyday choices and actions. With each choice and action you can ask, “Did I move in the general direction of my dream, or did I wander off course?”

Look for the Passion in Your Journey.

Having more passion involves a sense of knowing what you want and moving in that direction because doing so is important to you. You decide to face your challenges or attempt to bring your desires to life because doing so will allow a new expression of who you really are. You decide you want to feel differently in your body, overcome stress, end your struggles with weight, find a way to move through depression, or begin that new career because you want to live your life differently, more powerfully, and filled with more happiness. You may not succeed right away, but you have to know within yourself that what you want is important to you!

Live in the Present.

Take whatever steps are necessary to heal your past, forgive and let go, and live in the present moment. Reexamine your past experiences from the vantage point of this present moment. How did you grow as a result? Was there a hidden gift in the experience? What did you learn as a result of the situation? Repeat this process until you can forgive yourself and others, let go of fear, anger, and resentment, and bring the wisdom gained from those past experiences into your present life.

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