Attracting Love – Can You Say “I Am Lovable” Without Wincing?


What am I, not how am I but what am I? And what in the world does that have to do with attracting love?

I am ____________. It is awfully easy to fill that sentence with negatives. Why is it so much easier to think of the stuff we don’t like about ourselves instead of what we DO like?

Think of the blank at the end of the sentence, “I am___________.” as a sort of energetic container. Wouldn’t it be wild if this sentence contained the power our mind then uses to replicate whatever is placed inside? That being said, how do these feel?

I am fat. I am poor. I am broke. I am worried. I am getting old. I am never going to get anywhere. I am a failure. I am helpless.

Yikes! Need I go on?

Wouldn’t it behoove us to fill that container very mindfully?

I am________.

Even though it would be awkward and artificial to start saying things like:

I am OK exactly how I am. I am making progress. I am better off than I was last year. I am continually learning and growing in understanding. I am calm more often. I am trusting my inner guidance more and more. I am seeing more and more of those amazing coincidences called synchronicities. I am learning to hear from my heart. I am tuning into my intuition regularly.

I know that my intuition always gives me words to work with if I just ask. I write…”I am”…with the intention of thinking of things that I can write that are optimistic and, most importantly, true.

Moving from there, I can put together some optimal thoughts:

I am strong. I am healthy. I am prosperous in all ways. I am wealthy. I am beautifully clothed and housed. I am loved. I am love. I am peace. I am happy. I AM happy.

As you read through the optimal list, if you have any reaction at all, just notice it. Where are you feeling it in your body? Your throat? Upper chest? Stomach? Take a couple of deep breaths while you lay your hand on the part of body where you feel pressure or heat. The most likely candidates are your throat, your belly, your head or your chest.

Something in these thoughts is setting off an alarm bell. Your mind is saying, “Oh no, can’t go there. This feels fake.” Your body is responding because there are actual biochemicals running through your system causing a physical reaction. I never knew this until very recently and this really is a key.

This rush of inner energy frequently carries with it forgotten hurts from experiences from years ago. Because there are chemical reactions that go along with emotions, I can be more compassionate with myself knowing that I really can’t help getting upset. It is my body’s way of processing past emotional pain.

When you notice this kind of reaction while you are doing any manifesting exercise, stop and follow these steps:

1. Take a deep breath and see how intensely you are reacting. 2. Rate it from 1 to 10 with one being low. Just admit to yourself that you are struggling a little right now. 3. Begin to calmly say these I AMs or any that come into your awareness.

I am starting now. I am lots of good things and I am going to start telling myself so. I am ok right where I am. I am learning more about myself all the time, and I love that about myself! I am catching myself more often when my thoughts are going in the wrong direction. I am proud of myself. I am feeling deep love and appreciation for myself. I am resilient. I am a tough cookie. I am very experienced in the school of life. I am choosing to see that anything is possible.

Take a deep breath. And another.

Now check and see if the intensity has changed.

Remember, anytime you make an affirmation that just doesn’t feel good, it is an engraved invitation to find and reclaim your creative energy locked away in that forgotten hurt. Every time you choose your I am’s, whether you feel anything or not, you strengthen your connection to your intuition. The stronger your intuition, the better your decisions. The decisions you make direct your course. That is where I am most surely guided. You will be too.

Catherine Behan, M.S. is an Author, Relationship Expert, Seminar Leader, Inspirational Speaker and Internet Advice Columnist. For more information on The Soul Mate Process plus a free audio download check out
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