Have you ever asked yourself what you wanted from life? But not in the way that kids do when dreaming … Or put differently – do you have any goals on what direction you wish to move in? In all areas? Or are perhaps your most important goals having money and a great career …
Our goal is not just having money, but having it all! Can you sense the difference? Or do you perhaps think that money will solve your problems and “buy” all the rest you crave for? I once thought the same … until the words of John Gray proved themselves right to me: money only multiplies the condition the person is in.
And it’s true. If we can’t be happy when we’re not doing so well financially, money won’t help either. It can only buy more opportunities, in which your inner condition will mirror itself; for instance, if you can’t enjoy a beautiful sunset, you won’t know how to enjoy it with a lot of money either (when you’re going to have the time to admire it every evening). Or if people don’t see you as a friend now, they won’t see you as one when you’re going to have money. You can buy being popular in the society, but you can’t buy friendship … Because real friendship is never based on money; and it if is, it’s not friendship, it’s a purchase.
Or: if you can’t enjoy your drive to work today, then you won’t be able to enjoy it when you’re going to have piles of cash in your bank account. Or: if you don’t feel good about yourself today, it’s not going to be any different with more money. Yes, having heaps of money doesn’t change these things! Well, it can give you power over others, but will that really make you feel better about yourself?
Perhaps you’re thinking right now that this just isn’t so and that everything will be different then … Perhaps it will be. But let me tell you a story about some acquaintances of mine.
How Money (doesn’t) Changes Your Life
My old friend’s family is one of the most well known and most successful families in the town I was born in. The father and mother have owned a restaurant with boarding rooms practically “ever since” – it was their primary source of income and their passion. And besides, they also built a great mansion, big as a castle, where they rent rooms and host larger groups of clients. And not to forget the family hotel by the sea.
When their sons grew up their parents built them a business building: a flower, cosmetics and children’s store for one, and a coffee and tea production house for the other.
Years ago, when their parents had all this, their sons decided to send them on a vacation. Literally – their parents never went on a longer vacation because they “had to work”! When they asked them where they wanted to go they decided for a health resort. For 14 days.
The sons organized everything and did everything humanly possible to assure their parents are going to have a great time. And they went. And they enjoyed themselves. And they came back … after two days!!! That’s exactly how long it took for them to come back home, because they couldn’t stand being away from their work for so long … they enjoyed their work this much.
The fact is – the parents didn’t come back because of the work or because they were worried and had to work, they came back for themselves and their own pleasure.
This is a pattern. We are beings that within ourselves build certain patters on the basis of which we then act – regardless of everything else. And the more often we exercise them, the more they become embedded within us. Do you know of anyone who once said: “I’ll work had for a few years and then just enjoy myself”, and he then just couldn’t stop working hard … ever?! This is it … So don’t allow yourself to waste your life in such a way. It’s not about money, it’s about your attitude to yourself. Once a certain pattern controls you no money in this world can help …
When You Turn to Yourself
That is why we will foremost discuss ourselves. When you solve this greatest problem that you, thank God, can influence, you will solve everything! Just don’t fall in to the trap where you think that others are to blame for everything bad that is happening to you …
One of the most difficult and greatest things you can do is take responsibility for everything! Just like a finger you point at someone and say: “You are to blame for all my problems” — only this time turn that finger to yourself!
Can you do this? This is actually the only way to exploit all of your potential in life: as long as you believe others are to blame for what is happening to you in your life you’ll want to influence them to start acting differently. In most cases you won’t only not succeed in changing the person, but you will also start feeling anger, jealousy, a lack of power, etc.
This leads to wars, not happiness.
But when you within yourself awake all you are seeking on the outside, you will never again have to walk the path of searching and discontent. Everything will be waiting for you at your leisure!
Do a short and simple exercise: imagine someone standing in front of you. Point your finger at them as if you wanted to say “You are to blame!”
Now take a look at where the other fingers are pointing – one (the thumb) is pointing at God (in to the air), and the remaining three are pointing back at you.
This is the most realistic image when it comes to responsibility in this situation: you are three times more responsible for what is happening to yourself than the person you are speaking with …
The Recommended Activity
Break the patterns in your life and prepare for changes! If you can act without getting caught in to something you are doing without a clear reason – but only because you have been doing it practically “forever” – you are going to start moving forward much faster. This is actually the only possibility to really succeed in life …
Again start with something small …
Thomas Keller recommends a very simple exercise: take some time and move all the accessories you have in your kitchen closets. Replace the saucers with cups and cups with glasses, etc. Move everything! This is not about whether you need to do this or about “making things
look better”, but about “breaking your routine”.
Your habits and routines are some of the most powerful barriers to achieving success and growing personally!
Continue by selecting five of your most important daily activities for which you believe that are the most important for your success. For instance, marketing your services, your sales presentations, your continuing investment education, etc.
Now take a look at what you are doing “out of habit” or “unconsciously” and what activities you select as you go and consciously. The last are probably those that give you a feeling you are controlling them. They are giving you a feeling that you are in control!
For the last step now decide you are going to at least once try doing differently those activities you are doing out of habit; but not in an unpleasant way or in a way that will make you suffer, but in such a way that those activities will be fun to do!
Nikola Grubisa is a European Marketing and HRM Consultant and the co-author of a European bestseller “The Millionaire Mindset: How to Tap Real Wealth from Within”. If you are wondering how top marketers are marketing in Europe and at the same time want to discover the path to true wealth, please subscribe to his new free eZine “The Millionaire Weekly Memo”. Click here: http://www.TheMillionaireMind.net