Why Do We Need to be Liked?

I read a great story the other day in Michael Port’s book Book Yourself Solid.

It seems there was an old man, a young man and a donkey going to town. The boy rode the donkey and the old man walked besides him. As people passed they said it was a shame to make an old man walk, so they changed places and the old man rode.

Later some people remarked it was a shame to make a little boy walk so they both started walking.

The next group of people said how stupid they were to walk when they had a donkey to ride so they both rode him.

Of course they were criticized for placing such a heavy load on the donkey so they carried him and crossing a bridge dropped him in the river and he drowned.

The moral of the story: if you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass goodbye!

I laughed and thought isn’t that just what it is like trying to be all things to all people? No matter what, someone is going to judge your actions and criticize you. On a deeper level, it made me wonder why we sometimes need so desperately to be liked that we strive to do so at the expense of our true authenticity. At the root is a self judgment that somehow we are lacking, we are not good enough.

When we live in that judgment we are in the world of our small, inner self where we only see what we lack. Our focus in on what we need to improve, or where we fall short. In that moment, we are only connected to our weaknesses.

Since we are human, it is true that there is always room to grow and improve. But when we take that tiny grain of truth and use it as a weapon against ourselves – telling ourselves that this is the true core of who we are – we embark on a quest to keep our dirty little secret hidden from the outside world. From that moment on the game begins.

Hiding out is not a strategy for living; it is a defense mechanism that keeps us small and keeps us from our true mission here on planet Earth which is to become our most authentic self.

Why is that important? Because there is no else on this planet with the unique blueprint that is you. You have a one of a kind energy and a contribution to make no one else can. You have people waiting just for you; to meet you, to learn from you and to love you.

Think of it like a jigsaw puzzle with a trillion unique pieces and you are one of the pieces; without you the puzzle is incomplete. Since we are all connected, this means we are all a bit incomplete when a piece is missing. By playing small and holding back your soul song the world misses out on the sound of your beautiful voice and we are all lessened.

Enough already! I am officially calling you out. Come out, come out wherever you are, the game of hide and seek is over.

You are safe and it is time to play your big game. The world needs you, needs your unique gift and contribution. This is not a dress rehearsal.

To continue the ongoing upward energetic shift of the planet, you need to make a commitment right here and now. Repeat after me: As of today, I am willing to let my light shine. I am a beautiful and loving part of the Divine and today is the moment I stop all self abuse and step into my fullest self.

Did you notice your energy shift when you read those words? Even if some part of you held back from accepting it, your soul knows the truth when it hears it.

This commitment raises your consciousness which changes the world because when you shift the rest of the world can’t help but shift too. That is why we all resonate to this Marianne Williamson quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be?”

“You are a child of GOD. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory that is within us. And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Your Coaching Challenge

Commit today, right now, to working with the intention to let your light shine.

Raise your energy each day by taking a moment to connect to your inner Divinity. 
When you notice self-critical thoughts, stop and take a deep breath. Congratulate yourself for noticing this old habit in the moment and let it go. Release the self judgment and replace it with a true, loving affirmation.

Then, imagine you are breathing love into your heart. See your breath drawing in the Universal energy of love which you are a part of and let it fill your entire being.

Remember that you can explore the Universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.

Tara Crawford Roth, CEC is a Certified Intuitive Coach and the Founder of the New England Holistic Chamber of Commerce, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting holistic professionals through networking and business development opportunities for like-minded business owners. A lifelong intuitive, former executive and certified coach, Tara trains other coaches through iPEC’s ICF accredited program. She specializes in intuitive leadership development teaching skills that empower her clients to live and work with greater confidence, authenticity and creativity.

You can learn more about her and get a free report on developing your intuition at http://www.tararoth.com