You and I both have a belief about who and what we are. Indeed, everybody does. Many different events happen to you throughout your life and it is how you assign meanings to these events that forms the belief you have about yourself. If you view these events negatively, you can form a victim mindset, a mindset that will send stress levels soaring and cause you misery for a long time.
An old friend of mine is a perfect example. Life was going smoothly for him until he was forced to change jobs because the company was “streamlining”. He was assigned to a new job, he really struggled with it, he didn’t get along with his new boss who eventually moved my friend to another department, on a lower salary.
Gary changed dramatically. He was no longer a nice guy content with his life but a very angry, bitter person who deeply resented what had happened to him. He resented everybody, labeling friends as “selfish” and would snap at people over the slightest thing. Gradually his presence became unbearable and his friends, tired of the bitterness and arguing, deserted him. He had chosen to be a victim and he was taking it out on everyone. And the more he acted like a victim the more he became one.
Just as Gary believed he was a victim because of a trying event, so do millions of others. Being a victim becomes the story of their life after an event such as a job loss, death of a loved one, a nasty accident, a move of house, a change of job or they split from their partner – whatever. But every single one of us has to face these types of events in our lives and what is crucial is not to choose to allow them to make you believe you are a victim as this will fuel stress.
Let me share with you an outstanding stress relief technique you can use so you never allow a stressful event to make you choose to be its victim.
Imagine that you want a fresh new look in your living room. You want new furniture – a new sofa, a new coffee table, a new sideboard, a new carpet and a fresh new color scheme.
Before you can proceed you have to do one very important thing:
Clear out all of the old furniture and furnishings. You either sell them or take them to the dump. You cannot replace them whilst they are still in the room you cannot have your fresh new look unless the old has been removed, agreed?
It’s so obvious isn’t it? Yet what is really great about this is that it makes a super stress relief technique because you can apply the principle to your life and the events you have experienced if such events are causing you to believe you are a victim long after they have happened.
No matter what stressful event you have endured, maybe your partner has left you, a business venture collapsed, someone you love passed away, you had a bad accident or you were made redundant or someone you trusted abused your trust, whatever it is, no matter how severe, you now throw it out of your life. Dump it in the garbage and completely LET IT GO. It has hung around way too long, now let it go so you can bring in fresh opportunities and experiences.
Whatever it is, dump it. Get angry at it, take yourself to a private place and picture what has happened and then shout: “ENOUGH! NO MORE! I LET YOU GO YOU ARE DUMPED FROM MY LIFE. I AM NOT YOUR VICTIM!”
I want you to think of this: Whatever has happened to you in life you can have but two effects on you. It can either be a curse or a blessing. If you choose to believe an event has made you a victim, then it will be a curse on you for a long time.
Choose instead, to make it a blessing, even if you were really hard done by. Because when you choose to make it a blessing it will never ever make you a victim and rob years from your life, as the change of job robbed precious years from my old friend.
Ex- chronic anxiety sufferer Chris Green is the author of “Conquering Stress”, the acclaimed internet best seller which will help you to naturally conquer stress, depression and anxiety without taking powerful drugs. For more information, visit www.conqueringstress.com