Any goal worth achieving will take work on your part. This is a given. There will be a price to pay. You have to figure out what that price is, and get busy paying it. Plain and simple.
I am going to assume you already have a goal, or many of them, you have determined the price you have to pay, and you have started the business of paying it. What happens next will determine if you are successful, or if you fall short. Do you make it happen and achieve your dream, or do you fall short and settle for less?
This is the part of the goal setting cycle that separates the top achievers from the huddled masses. This is where you get out of your own way.
Self Sabotage
Most people get to a certain point in the goal setting cycle, and back away.
Usually this happens right at the point where you must take a risk to have something great. You’ve built yourself up into a frenzy, you’re ready to take the necessary plunge, but something happens to pull you off of your path. What happens is fear.
Fear creeps in, tells you something disempowering, and you listen. Not only do you listen, you confirm it. You pull the rug out from under your own feet, and suddenly all of your efforts are shattered and eventually forgotten. I wish this wasn’t such a common occurrence, but with so many people living lives that are much less than what they deserve, self sabotage is more common than a cold.
Let me give you a personal example. I am writing a book. Writing is something I know pretty well, I feel I am pretty good at it, and I really enjoy doing it. The problem is, I know absolutely nothing about getting an agent and getting published. Nothing.
So, I sought out some coaching. I invested heavily in this coaching—both in time, and in money. I knew I needed something to help me reach my goal, and this coaching program was exactly what I was looking for.
While going through it, there have been several guest speakers and teachers. Many of them are best-sellers. While the point of this is to inspire and enlighten, the guest speakers had the opposite effect on me. They scared the living hell out of me.
I started to feel the fear of not being as good as the people teaching. “They are best sellers,” I thought, “There is no way I can do what they are doing.” I started talking myself out of reaching my goal even before I had finished the program, or my book! This is what Seth Godin calls “The Lizard Brain.”
There was a split second where I almost listened and almost gave in. A split second. Luckily, I knew those little negative, self-defeating thoughts that were creeping in where actually a good sign. Those little thoughts actually proved I was on the right path.
Security Breeds Decay
When you dare to dream something big, and to undertake a new direction in life, you will know you are on the right path by how often those little thoughts creep in. The thought of staying at a job you hate due to the paycheck does not make your stomach turn or inspire fear.
Our social programming has taught us to seek this type of destructive security since we were little kids. We went to school and were told to fit in (in fact, we were commanded to fit in). We were taught to draw inside the lines. We were taught to study hard, get good grades, and get a nice secure job so that we could retire when we are too old to enjoy the freedom.
We were not taught to think. Doing well in school was actually a matter of being good at school. You play the game, you don’t make waves, you get to pass.
So your fear of being as great as you really are, and having everything you deserve, is not initially your fault. You were programmed that way.
Now though, you know the truth. You know you weren’t meant to live like that, and you know what that fear is. That fear is your old programming creeping in and trying to take over again.
You have two ways to react. You can give in, settle down and stop dreaming, like a good boy or girl.
Or, you can see it for what it really is—an indication that you are doing what you were meant to do, and you are on the path to greatness. The choice is yours.
Bio: Joshua Noerr is a former competitive fighter turned blogger. He owns or is partnered in several blogs in different niches, including personal development and health and fitness. He has one simple goal with all of his work—to change the world.
