How to Not Be Shy

Okay everyone. I am sure you know the scenario. You walk into a room or a party. Maybe you have to go to an important meeting or you are about to meet your spouses parents or her friends. Right away you begin to feel your heart beat. You ca literally hear it pounding inside your chest. You feel this queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach and all you want to do is turn and run away. We have all been there, even those of us who are more sociable then others. No matter how outgoing you are you have at some point felt this crippling feeling and sometimes it feels like a lot more then just shyness. So I am going to explain some of the key reasons why you are experiencing this;

You Feel They might not like you

This is one of the main reasons why people feel this way in these situations. They want to be liked or accepted so badly by the people that they are about to be around that they feel like if they just relax and they are themselves then apart of them will show that they are trying to hold back afraid that if these people see this side of them then they will not like them. Or that their opinion of them will change to a negative one. So they try to hold back any and all characteristics that they feel will make them unacceptable to the people they are about to be around because they want to fit in.

You have deep insecurities you want to hide

This is another big one that makes people feel shy. They have some deep insecurity inside of them that they are afraid if some large amount of attention is focused on them then people will notice those perceived flaws, even if they are not real and only the thoughts of the insecure person. So they do all they can to deflect attention. They will sit in the back of the room. They will be very quiet and talk very soft. They will also be very agreeable as to not cause a confrontation.

False ego

This is one that often gets ignored but I believe is a huge one. People sometimes have very big egos. The problem is that they have nothing in which to back up these egos or they have been lying to themselves. Whatever environment they are used to this has never been called to question. But in an environment where people are higher up there in social and economic status, you feel like you will be evaluated by these people and deemed to be unworthy by them thus fore crushing your false ego. To shield yourself from this you hide in areas or social environment where you can protect this ego. You gravitate towards lower figuring that the people who are not as high in social economic status will not be able to criticize you. You may even seek out those who you feel are lower then your self just to protect your false sense of ego.

To put it all together in order for you to overcome shyness you have to be willing to do something that most people are unwilling to do. You have to sit down and do a thorough self evaluation of yourself and figure out which category you fall into. You have to be willing to work on yourself and learn to feel comfortable in your own skin. You do this by accepting your self for who you are even if it is a flawed person. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has something to hide and be insecure about. Once you accept yourself you will not be concerned about anyone else possibly negative opinion about you or fear of them rejecting or judging you. You will learn to be confident and more assertive because you won’t be trying to protect your fragile ego anymore. You will learn to accept yourself and all your flaws thus fore you will not be worried about anyone possibly using them against you. It also helps to not define yourself based on the acceptance of others.