Some of my clients think I’m harsh, cruel, heartless and a real jerk who is negative towards them when they’re trying to be positive and think they’re succeeding. These are clients who want some type of change in their lives. Some wanted to earn more money, grow their business or be better managers of their time. Others wanted to change their attitude and focus on the positives instead of the negatives when it came to health or weight loss. Still others wanted to feel like they could get off the treadmill of life and not be so busy.
And they all said the same thing… Why are you being so negative?
Let me share with you the conversation that leads up to this question…
Me: So now we’ve figured out what your objective is and come up with an action plan. Are you excited?
Them: Yes, I’m excited. I’m going to try and follow it as best as I can.
Me: This is a plan that if followed will get you exactly what you want.
Them: Yes, I know, I’m going to try to change my attitude and get all these things done each day.
Me: Maybe this plan is too aggressive for you, we should re-think it.
Them: No! I said I was going to try to follow it. I don’t understand why you think we need to change it.
Me: Because try = fail.
Them: You’re so mean to me! You’re supposed to encourage me!
How can I make such a statement as “Try equals fail…” when people are sincere about creating change?
Because it’s true. Any time someone says try, it is a soft commitment. I’ll try gives people an easy excuse to not follow through with what they say they’re going to do. Think about it…
“Honey, could you make sure you get to the store today?”
If the errand is run you’re a hero, but more likely something will come up… Well, you didn’t promise you would go to the store. You said you’d try and you did… It just didn’t fit into the day.
I’ll try is the precursor to failure. Don’t accept them as commitments, give them as commitments… And most importantly of all, don’t get into the “I’ll try” mindset when it comes to the pursuit of your own goals.
Joel Wesseldyke, personal and professional success mentor, motivator, speaker, teacher, radio host and all around nice guy, empowers people to get un-stuck in their personal or professional lives and on the path to achieving their wildest dreams. Learn how to achieve your goals, become happier, healthier and more successful by visiting http://www.NJHCLifeLab.com