Change Your Self-talk

“The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.” ~Ralph Charell, American Author

Scientific research claims that human beings think anywhere between 12,000-60,000 thoughts in a day. More than 90% of these thoughts are not new. They are the same as you had the day before, the week before or the month before. And more than 80% of these thoughts are negative and self-critical.

“I don’t think I can do this.” 
“Why did I ever agree to this?” 
“I am always making the same mistake.” 
“When will I ever learn?” 
“I better remember to do this or else – .” 
“My hair doesn’t look great.” 
“They’re going to think I am stupid.” 
“I’m always struggling, why does this happen to me?” 
“I know I can’t do it.” 
“I am going to make a fool of myself once again.” 
“I am late again.” 
“So many problems …” 
“Well, she’s late again …” 
‘Why doesn’t he get it?”

You probably don’t realize how much negative self-talk affects your life.

  • Causes clutter and lack of clarity
  • Creates overwhelm and stress
  • Drains energy – lots and lots of it
  • Wastes a whole lot of time
  • Clouds your thinking – you cant see solutions or possibilities
  • Causes depression – you feel miserable, hopeless, powerless – all you can see is a bleak future
  • Affects your experiences
  • Creates the same reality over and over again

Change your self-talk, change your life

As simple as that? Well, it is indeed simple:) Your mind is a powerful creative tool (thoughts, images, ideas, emotions, …) that conspires with the universe to create your life.

Why not then indulge in positive self-talk that will change your life? Just imagine how much time and energy you could save by getting rid of 80% of your thoughts which are getting you nowhere?

Observe the Patterns

The first step towards changing your self-talk is to observe the patterns.

What triggers your self-talk? 
How long on an average does it go on before you catch yourself? 
What’s the favorite topic? Your performance at work? Your abilities? Your kids? Your life in general? Your relationship? What people are thinking or saying about you? Your unspoken rule to be “perfect”? 
What do you feel? Guilt? Frustration? Anger? Resentment? Fear?

Take notes

Carry a small journal with you and jot down notes. It’s a powerful way to capture your thoughts and feelings. As you journal, you slowly detach yourself from the self-talk and assume the role of observer. It helps you get a different perspective of yourself and your life. The notes also help track progress over time.

Reduce the intensity of the words

For e.g. “I hate to do this …” can be changed to “I don’t like to do this …”. It’s still not positive, but the word(s) are less intense and negative, and drastically change the way you react and feel. The milder usage of words won’t ruffle up your feathers as much and you hold control over what you choose to experience and feel.

Shift towards neutral and positive self-talk

Now move the negative self-talk to more positive or at least neutral grounds.

Instead of saying, “I can’t …”, say “I can … if I get some…”. 
Instead of saying, “This is impossible!”, say “Let’s see
what can be done”.

Explore creative ways to come up with positive or neutral statements.

Be Curious

The next time you are telling yourself, “Oh! I can’t …”, become curious. Ask yourself,

“Hmmm, Why do I think I can’t?”. 
“How true is that?”. 
“What is it I can do?”. 
“What support will I need to get it done?” 
“Is it really that hard? Or am I just thinking it is hard?”

Or if it’s, “My hair is looking bad again…”, ask yourself,

“Who said my hair is looking bad?” 
“Do I want to do something about it?” 
“How true is that?” 
“What can I do about it?” 
“How can I take better care about it?” 
“Who can help me on this?”

Or if it’s, “Why doesn’t he get it?”

“Is there something I am missing?” 
“Let me look at this from his angle.” 
“Why don’t I talk to him and find out what’s happening?”

The objective here is to break the thought pattern and stop your subconscious from just playing back information repetitively. It runs like a program and doesn’t tire at all! So, catch it before it goes into an infinite loop!

And once you reprogram your subconscious with positive self-talk, it’ll become your default tendency. It’s just a matter of time. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit and create a new one.

This week,

  • Track your self-talk. What percentage is positive?
  • How can you increase the positive self-talk?
  • List 5 benefits you’ll enjoy when your self-talk is more positive and productive.

Prasanna Gunturi, a Success & Self-Mastery Coach, helps individuals master their inner energy to attract success and wealth, effortlessly, yet at the same time living a life of purpose, authenticity and passion. Download the free report “Let’s Talk Money … and Beyond” at to find out how to create your own personal economy and live your D.R.E.A.M. Life and why you ABSOLUTELY can!