“Hello son. Hello daughter. I know that I’m your mother, but can I please remind you that I’m also me.”
Okay, I know we can’t really say that to our kids because it sounds a little too much like a Step-Ford-Wife, but I’m sure you get my drift. Sometimes us moms feel like doing a little whining of our own, ya know? Because some days it feels like we’re putting EVERYTHING into our kids and if that’s true, than when do we feed our own souls assuring that what we pour into our kids is the right quality? Not good quality, but right quality. The difference is that good quality can apply to any family, but the right quality is specific to the quality of development, learning and transformation you desire to example to your children.
To often mom’s lose themselves when they get into mommy/mother/wife mode. And most of the time neither son/daughter nor husband is going to pull them up and say hey, don’t forget about you. So who does that leave it up to? Well, yes, you’re right: You!
I’ve been an attentive, loving mother for 16 years and one thing I’ve learned the hard way is to be mindful of (gasp) self care. But, honestly you have to take care of you if there’s going to be any real degree of controlled chaos in your household.
I recommend the following 8 non-traditional self care tips to help mom’s maintain motivation sanity:
Ponder– Think about what you want and where you are. What’s the reality of your situation? If you have 2 children and you and your husband both work outside the home than you’re going to need to be patient and creative with the expectations of yourself, your family and what you want to achieve. Practice the reality check, acceptance and future planning.
Prioritize – Make yourself a priority. Talk about your desires (of course not incessantly) but when it’s naturally reasonable. For example, depending on how old your child is you can make it into a fun conversation: Mommy’s so excited that she’ll be working on writing her book for 30 minutes. High five to mommy for going after her dreams!” Practice speaking and thinking of your self as separate from yet inter-connected with your children and husband.
Plan – create a flexible schedule. Bear in mind what you pondered on and get out your calendar and write out what you think can happen. Remember, being able to adjust is essential. Practice organizing your life.
Pleasure – I mean take genuine pleasure in whatever time you do get and whatever you manage to get done. Don’t fret if your hour session ends up being 30 minutes. Don’t pout if you didn’t get all the time you wanted this week. There’s always next week. Talk about how pleased you are with your progress. No matter how big or small, all of your progress has value. Practice feeling good.
Provoke – Be a little aggressive with yourself. Instead of feeling guilty and torn for even thinking about taking 10 minutes for yourself, demand of yourself what you’d most likely recommend to a good friend in a similar situation. Practice standing up to yourself.
Please – Please yourself in small bites. Take a 5 or 10 minute break. Train your children to respect mommy time. Tell them this is mommy’s break time and that you get 10 uninterrupted minutes to do what you need to do. Eventually, possibly with some resistance, your family will learn to respect you for declaring yourself as valuable. Practice teaching respect.
Play – Do something playful and fun with your kids and husband. When we stop playing it makes our minds atrophy. Doing something in the spirit of spontaneity and fun strengthens our connections and re-fuels our love tank. Practice reconnecting through play.
Publicize – Share. Yes, share your accomplishments with your kidlets and hubby. Leave some space on the front of the fridge for public display of your achievements. Practice announcing your accomplishments.
The bottom line is that staying motivated can be a real challenge, but moms have to get in the drivers seat on this. Your kids won’t naturally identify you as having a life separate from them. So, that leaves the responsibility on your shoulders to create the kind of environment that shows your family that when mommy practices great self care the family gets the benefit of right quality results!
Download a free motivation enhancement tip sheet by visiting http://www.increaseyourmotivationmojo.com & signing up for my newsletter to learn how to live your personal best and maintain your motivation mojo no matter what’s going on!
For the past 15 years Denise Hart has been teaching women how to discover success strategies in record time that improve the bottom line in all areas of their lives & offering free weekly teleseminars, as well as online courses with a workshop environment.
Her 6 day 30 minutes a day workshop “Motivation Solutions” will teach you immediate success strategies for your life and your biz!http://www.motivationmojosolutions.com