How to Improve Your Self-Confidence

How to develop your confidence to increase your effectiveness and satisfaction

Have you ever met someone who appeared to be very confident in who he or she was? What did you notice? Well first of all, they appeared at ease. They seemed to be comfortable with who they were and what they said. Did you also notice that people seemed to pay attention to them? And perhaps what they said was not all that profound. In fact, maybe you said to yourself something like “I have said that before.”

Perhaps all of us would agree that it is a desirable trait to grow in our level of confidence. Those who do often see greater effectiveness in their accomplishments and an increased level of personal satisfaction.

Roadblocks to a Healthy Confidence Level

Often in life we get headed in the right direction only to find out we have bumped into a major roadblock. Now our momentum is stalled. So, what are some of those possible roadblocks to achieving a healthy confidence level? Here are just a few.

#1. Words said to Us.

Perhaps you can hear these words still ringing in your mind, “You are never going to be able to do that.” “Who do you think you are?” “Your sister can do that a lot better than you can.” “You see, there you go again making a mess out of everything.” Maybe even as you read this the painful emotions started flooding back. Words spoken to us often by the ones we value the most are so incredibly powerful. Often they shape our destiny.

#2. Lack of Experience.

At times we can be very tentative about trying something simply because it is new to us. I have never been there before and frankly I am afraid. I can be afraid I won’t be able to do it. I can be afraid someone will judge me due to perhaps poor performance. Or, maybe I am afraid because I just don’t know all what will need to be done. So, what happens? I don’t try. After all, it is more comfortable to just not take the chance.

Realize Your Destiny

Have you ever stopped to think deeply about yourself? As human beings there is something pretty amazing about who we are. Our ability to dream about our futures, feel tender emotions for a spouse or close friend and make a significant difference in the life of someone else through a simple act of kindness are indicators that we are quite unique.

Whether we are aware of it or not, there is something deep inside of us that desires to reach beyond where we currently are now. At times we day dream about who we could become. I have done some amazing things in my mind! All of this points to the fact that there is some greatness in us that if we knew how, we could achieve a much deeper level of personal fulfillment and satisfaction.

A Helpful Tool

So, what can help a person realize his or her destiny? What could help us develop a healthy self-confidence? I love the truth that as I give to other people, I will receive something of value back. Let’s go back to how words can have such a profound impact on our lives. Imagine as a young person you were put down by your parents and siblings. You experienced many painful moments and as a result deep inside you are a mess. Oh, most people don’t know this because we have become professionals at masking how we really feel. So, while people used harsh words on me I now will start a new pattern in my life – I will give to others what I would want them to give to me.

Here is your action step. In the next 30 minutes find someone and genuinely appreciate the person for who he or she is or for what the person did. You need to say the words and you also must be sincere.

After doing this once, find other opportunities to do it. Begin to make it a pattern in your life. I believe that what you give to others will in fact come back to you. I would love to hear your stories about this.